good morning. i thought i was prepared for anything in life. i was
wrong. what i seen and learned in the past day might leave me scared
for life. yes, i’m strong, but not as strong as i thought. lost for
words? no, just don’t know how to start. the tsunami? earthquake?
radiation? or government? i can go on and on about each one but
won’t because i’m already emotional drained. yesterday, i was nervous
going into the so called “radiation zone.” many of people tried to
talk me out of going there, but i was determined. and going there was
the best choice i probably made in my whole life. why? because i
learned a lot about the japanese people, and i learned about myself.
they are strong, and i need to become stronger. that’s another story
i’ll get into later.
we drove around, stopped, talked to the people, and tried to help them
with any supplies they needed. i looked around, i took photos, and my
mind drifted into places where it’s never been before. some people
lost nothing, some people lost everything. some people are smiling,
some people are crying.
see the photo above? we pulled into a beach called “Kitaizumi” where
i surfed before. i remember it being such an awesome town with the
friendliest people. white sand beach, clean water, and so lively.
now, it’s the totally opposite. it’s completely flat with no life
around. the japanese military were there not looking for survivors,
they were looking for bodies. there were old grandma’s looking for
anything to grab as a memory. then came an emergency siren ringing
out loud that scared the shit out of me.
i should have prepared myself better for this mission. i should have
understood what i would see. i should have been stronger. seeing all
this in only one day ripped my heart out of my body. i feel like a
fool. yes, i have things i don’t need, yes, i still complain about
small things, and yes, i thought that nothing could break me. i was
wrong. i have a lot to learn in life. and after thinking about how,
the answer came to me. i’m going to learn from the japanese. if i
can become strong like them, nothing can break me. it’s just going to
take some time.
sorry for going in circles but that’s where my mind is right now.
today, we’re going deep again and i hope i don’t lose my mind again.
i just want to ask the world to pray for japan….
**and last, sorry for not responding to emails. i appreciate your
kind words but i’m just too busy to be on my computer at a time like
this. hope you understand.
